That's right kiddies: summer is coming to it's timely demise as it does each and every year. Every September summer will fall victim to the rape of autumn and will cower among the dead and dying leaves and it too will die.

I like the use of rape there. Ha. That's what I feel this summer has done to me- it has royally raped me through every orifice that I possess. Put not so poetically, I'm trying to say that this summer has sucked. A lot.

Not all of it was bad, mind you. I thoroughly enjoyed my much-too-brief excursion to Greece and Italy on a school trip to learn maths 12. It may have been so excellent because those 4 short weeks were the longest period of time I've been apart from my parents, but more so I believe I enjoyed the trip because of the friends I made. They made my time there much more enjoyable than it would have been otherwise.

But aside from that my summer has been a steaming pile of shit.
First off, return to my last journal entry. That was only the beginning. I ended up, for whatever reason (which I cannot remember right now, perhaps I am blocking it from my memory?) locking myself in my room for 3 days without food or water. Sleepless nights. Sleeping in until 3 pm. Not eating. Hovering by my phone for any signs of care or love from any other person. Getting nothing.

My parents eventually coaxed me out of my room with the promise of chinese food. After that I was a little better, mind you, never eating much more than one meal and one snack each day. I've lost 15 pounds since the start of the summer. And I've never weighed that much to begin with.
The fates decided that they had not shat on me enough this summer and topped it off with Mike leaving me. I did not take that particularly well, since as you can see it did not come at a particularly convenient time for me. To top that off, before we'd split I'd gone to write on his facebook wall and found that some other chick had been writing on his wall a lot. I panicked. Feared that what was happening now was what happened to him and Adrianna, his last girlfriend, last summer. He'd found someone else. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty enough. Maybe that was at least part of what sent me into withdrawal into my room. I don't know. I don't want to know. All I know is that I never want to feel that way again.

To stop the pain I do what I do with any sort of painful situation- I ran away. Driving theory class had drawn me from my room onto Lonsdale Avenue, is it really an avenue? I'm not sure but I was on Lonsdale anyway and I had to bus home from class. I got dumped on the second of three days of classes and was spending a lot of time at Lonsdale Quay at the end of class, telling my mum I was with friends but really I was alone by the ocean. Staring at the ocean and listening to The Weakerthans got me through a good deal of the breakup pain and I was able to move through life once again without the ominous threat of bursting out into tears looming over my head.

Then I left for Europe. Got through math 12 easily.
Then I met up with my family in Venice. It all went downhill from there. Of course it's my mum. She'll explode at anything and everything. Especially me.
The hotel we're currently at is a 4 star, NOT a 5 star, and that sent her into a funk. She just finished going on about how I don't have a job or money and that as soon as I leave for college she won't support me so I'll starve and never amount to anything, that I'm such a waste of space, etc etc..

I also found out that my grandpa has cancer on his optical nerve and it's heading towards his brain. There's not much anyone can do.

So now I'm here. Still in Rome. I guess I felt the need to complain to this empty white text box. I'm not sure why. I guess I felt somewhat poetic but that's gone now and was/is entire the fault of Mark Z. Danielewski and Johnny Truant and Pelafina H. Lievre.

But nobody wants to listen to me. Mike wanted to stay friends so we've been facebooking back and forth. I tried to throw some prose at him but he said he was scared and I don't think we're ever going to speak to eachother again.
I think my crumbling biology is starting to get the better of me. Let's hope it's a short ride to the top. I don't think it will be.